There was a knock at the door. A soldier entered the room and raised his arm in salute. Then he drove his boot heels together to produce a loud snap. He waited for the politician’s attention…

Last week I tried to open a savings account for my son. The credit union offered me a 1% interest rate… If I had given my money to the credit union, I would have guaranteed my son a 5% annual loss.

In 2006, we found the perfect income investment. Westshore Terminals sits at the end of a long spit in the waters just south of Vancouver. Trains originating from the coal mines of Canada dump their cargo onto company property. Westshore then sorts the coal and loads it onto ships bound for the world’s steel mills. That’s it.

I asked my taxi driver if he knew where I could buy an AK-47. The driver studied me for a second. He paused. And then he said, “I know somewhere… Vamanos.”

Yesterday I visited the world’s largest hydroelectric power plant. The name of this plant is Itaipu. It sits on the border between Brazil and Paraguay, on one of the largest rivers in Latin America, the Rio Parana.

When ethanol comes out of the plant, the first thing they do is add a few drops of gasoline. This has nothing to do with performance or transport… It’s simply to poison the ethanol so people won’t drink it.

The largest freezer in the world is in Le Mars, Iowa. The freezer is six stories high and shaped like a cube. The local newspaper calls it a “high rise freezer.”

The young man sitting next to me applauded so loudly, it must have stung his palms…

Last night, I had dinner with Gary, an Iowa commodities broker. As we sat down to steaks, Gary told me two large hog businesses had gone under this week in Sioux City. “I saw the banker down at the farm counting livestock heads,” he said. “The banker in this town never leaves his office. It’s the first time he’s ever had to get s**t on his shoes.”