When the president of the United States visited this region almost a year ago, the city of Dubai closed down for the entire day. Locals and expats alike jokingly refer to this event of yore as “Bush Day,” a day when they stayed home from work and watched movies as the leader of the “free world” took a Big Bus tour of the city.

Now, twelve months later, as W’s presidential twilight years draw to a close, another of the West’s leaders journeys to the Gulf region. Like Bush, England’s Gordon Brown is not particularly popular in the polls. But this captain from the west has more pressing issues to deal with than the restoration of his public image; he needs cash to rescue the world’s “emerged” nations from the brink of financial collapse. And so, hot on the trail of the dollars and pounds that have poured from the west into the Gulf ever since oil was first discovered here, Gordon Brown shot his cuffs, donned his best smile for the cameras…and went panhandling.

Making no bones about the goal of his mission, Brown has said that he wants “hundreds of billions” of extra dollars from the oil-rich Gulf States, to be pledged to the International Monetary Fund.

The IMF is already burning through its $250 billion reserves, providing around $30 billion in emergency loans to Iceland, Hungary and Ukraine in the past few weeks alone. Pakistan has also said it may call on the international body for a quick cash advance. Somewhere in the vicinity of $5 billion should do the job, they reckon.

“The Saudis will, I think, contribute like other countries so we can have a bigger fund worldwide,” said Brown after a three-hour meeting with Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah late Saturday in Riyadh.

“The oil producing countries, who have generated over $1 trillion from higher oil prices in recent years, are in a position to contribute,” he continued, employing the kind of misguided logic that Karl Marx would be proud of. He might as well have gone the whole hog and recited the creed straight from the Critique of the Gotha Program: “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.”

Usually, when a man finds himself in the unfortunate position of having to beg for alms, he does so with a sense of humility. He may even come to the realization that, but for the kindness of strangers, he might be infinitely worse off. The dire situation Mr. Brown finds himself in, and the crisis in the west that led to his fundraising mission, seems not to have dampened his sense of moral superiority.

Just two weeks ago Mr. Brown severely reprimanded OPEC for its decision to cut oil production in the face of falling prices. The OPEC nations say they needs to defend a floor for prices in order to fund and develop future energy projects; projects that may or may not end up fuelling engines in the countries Mr. Brown is here to represent. Whether or not OPEC is telling the truth, we must admit that we find Mr. Brown’s diplomatic stratagem a tad puzzling.

Brown described OPEC’s production cut as “wrong for the world economy,” arguing that such a measure was “absolutely scandalous” at a time when the world is suffering through an economic crisis.

Translation: “It is wrong that OUR economy must suffer through high oil prices…but we would still like you to use the money YOU made from high prices to solve our problems.”

Pleading for help from one side of the mouth while sharply criticized from the other is seldom an effective tactic. It must be said, of course, that your editor is not here to defend a monopolistic cartel. We’re simply suggesting that if Mr. Brown chooses to go brown-nosing for money, he might think about refining his tactics a little. Either that, or learn to speak Chinese or Japanese…they made (and saved) lots of money from the west too.

Beggars can’t always be choosers but, if they play their cards wrong, they can end up losers.

Source: Beggars Can Be Losers