The Americans love British singer Leona Lewis. The Islington-born X Factor winner has been a smash hit Stateside, and has become the first British female artist to top the US album charts since Sade in 1986.

Now another homegrown superstar is hoping to break
America - a plucky young performer from Kircaldy by the
name of Gordon Brown. Brown’s hobbies include rugby,
selling gold and being the Prime Minister of Britain.

Brown, as you’ll be aware, is currently holed up in
Washington, eating hamburgers lovingly prepared for him
by Chef George Bush, who also does a sideline as the
43rd President of the United States.

When not sampling Pennsylvania Avenue’s finest cuisine,
Brown has been doing a passable impression of an
important man. He’s had meetings with Bush, and he’s
played the beauty contest judge, glad handing and eyeing
up the three Presidential hopefuls, McCain, Obama and
Clinton 2.

Back home his own party doesn’t appear to particularly
miss him. Labour peer Lord Desai has made unfavourable
comparisons between Brown and his predecessor, saying
Tony Blair was like “champagne and caviar”, while Gordon
“is more like porridge or Haggis. Very solid, very
nourishing but not exciting.”

Small wonder, then, that Brown plundered the Blair
lexicon when asked about the state of the “special
relationship”. Brown says he stands “shoulder to
shoulder” with Bush, in an alliance that is “stronger
than ever”.

But the “special relationship” has looked one-way for a
long time now. And something tells me PM Brown is
unlikely to be the man to reverse this trend.

Of course, I could be wrong. In two years’ time,
bedrooms across America could be adorned with Gordon
Brown posters, while fans queue overnight to get their
hands on gig tickets, where they’ll hear Brown, and his
equally charismatic support act Alistair Darling, bang
out classic hits like “Financial Stability”, “How The
Government Has Ensured Financial Stability”, and “The
Need For Financial Stability”.

Or maybe we should just put Leona Lewis in charge.

———————————-

RBS prepares for rights issue, but
shares not affected… for now
———————————-

Skint bank the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) is going on
the scrounge. Like most banks right now, RBS is a bit
strapped for cash. So it’s preparing a rights issue.

The credit crunch aside, RBS’s capital reserves took a
battering last year when, after a drawn out tussle with
Barclays, it paid top whack for Dutch firm ABN-Amro.
Now UBS (more on them in just a sec) reckons it needs
about £9 billion to bring its capital ratios in line
with other banks. Estimates of how much RBS is after
range from £5 billion to £12 billion.

But RBS won’t be going bust – and the market has
recognised this, with RBS shares, at the time of
writing, trading around where they opened.

“What will be interesting,” says colleague Garry White,
“is how heavily they discount the rights issue – which
could be a third of the bank’s market cap”.

So, it’s ‘Watch this space’ for now.

Meanwhile there are fresh fears of job losses in the
Square Mile. Merrill Lynch has announced 4,000 jobs
will go worldwide – up to 400 of those could go in
London. Citigroup has said it’s on a cost-cutting
mission (that means jobs), while UBS are preparing to
eliminate 900 positions in London.

Our sister publication, the Fleet Street Letter, has
compiled a report on how these City job losses will hit
the wider economy. It makes for very interesting
reading – and identifies three defensive shares that
could protect your portfolio. I urge you to read it
here:

http://click.fspeletters.com/t/16624/1632470/156673/0/

Your capital is at risk when you invest in shares, never
risk more than you can afford to lose. Please seek
independent financial advice if necessary. Fleet Street
Publications Ltd. Customer Services: 0207 633 3600.

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