Welcome to the Fantasyland issue of The 5…“Shouldn’t worry about the deficit,” assures Barack Obama… “yes we can” keep spending. Can’t balance the budget of your dreams? Call the Treasury… Atlanta’s doing it. Gold still suffering… Ed Bugos’ future fantasies for precious metals stocks. Plus, no one immune to the great housing illusion… the infamous Neverland Ranch shuts its doors.

The recent slump in gold prices has puzzled many investors who considered the yellow metal a safe haven. But Mike Caggeso says the inflationary impact of the government’s $700 billion bailout program could send gold soaring towards $1,500 an ounce by the end of 2009. He recommends five ways to play this coming gold bull run.

After an ever so brief reprieve the bears returned and once again started mauling the bulls during Wednesday’s trading session on the Canadian markets. For the tale of the tape, the TSX Exchange plunged 5.32%, while the TSX Gold Index tanked 8.5% and the TSX Venture Exchange, Canada’s largest junior exploration bourse, lost 5.71% with the declining issuers outpacing the advancers by a 607 to 224 margin, on volume of 141 million shares traded.

The hemorrhaging continued during Thursday trading on the Canadian Markets as falling commodity prices had investors running for the exits yet again. For the tale of the tape, the TSX Exchange lost 0.58%, while the TSX Gold Index plunged 9.5% and the TSX Venture Exchange, Canada’s largest junior exploration bourse, fell 5.39% with the declining issuers swamping the advancers by a 668 to 247 margin on volume of 153 million shares traded.

The unified interest rate cuts that included a 0.5% reduction in Canada did little to bolster investor confidence early on, but a binge of late day buying propelled the big board into the black by the close of Wednesday trading on the Canadian Markets.

William Patalon III says the US economy is heading into recession and there is little the Fed or Treasury can do to stop it.

But that doesn’t mean contrarian investors can’t make a profit. History is littered with examples of investors that made a fortune during the darkest days for the economy.

William has a four-point plan to beat the bear this time round: 1) Load up on high dividend stocks; 2) Buy gold; 3) Stick to ‘global titan’ companies; and 4) Stay relaxed…

The government gravy train is at full throttle. The “big three” automakers in Detroit don’t want to be left out. They’re close to snapping up a $25 billion bailout. It’s another nail in the coffin for the dollar, according to Smart Comodities UK editor Garry White. This will send gold prices into orbit.

Former professional trader and hedge-fund manager Shah Gilani says the very complexity of the global financial system brought us to the brink of a total meltdown. Asset-backed securities such as structured collateralized debt obligations, credit default swaps and the horrific offspring of the two, credit default swaps on structured collateralized debt obligations, are the main culprits, says Shah:

It was all about the gold miners during Wednesday trading on the Canadian markets as the global financial meltdown had investors running for the safety of bullion.

Wall Street is on its knees, and the taxpayer is on the hook for well over a trillion dollars to prop up the financial system.

Meanwhile, the wider US economy is sliding into a recession.

William Patalon III says there are four solid ways to protect your portfolio from these forces: 1) Buy dividend-paying stocks; 2) Buy gold; 3) Buy companies focused on overseas market; and 4) Don’t panic…