There’s a hold up in the Bronx,
Brooklyn’s broken out in fights.
There’s a traffic jam in Harlem
That’s backed up to Jackson Heights.
There’s a scout troop short a child,
Khruschev’s due at Idlewild
Car 54, Where Are You?

Yes, crises abound for this modern-day Toody and Muldoon of the finance world. But it’s their own fault; former academic Ben Bernanke and lifelong government apparatchik Timothy Geithner have opened up a Pandora’s Box with the Bear Stearns bailout.

Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) recently pushed for help to re-liquefy the student loan market, but according to Bloomberg, that’s just the beginning:

Former Fed officials andother Fed-watchers say that Bernanke’s actions in saving Bear Stearns will expose the central bank to continuing pressure touse its $889 billion balance sheet to prop up companies or entire industries deemed important by politicians. The Fed satisfied Dodd’s request today, expanding the swaps to include securities backed by student debt.

Former St. Louis Fed chief William Poole cites Fannie Mae as a likely next candidate. And traders are betting on still others back in the investment-banking sector:

The cost of default protection on Merrill Lynch & Co. debt fell to 1.4 percentage point by April 30 from 3.3 percentage points on March 14, CMA Datavision’s credit-default swaps prices show. The cost of protection on Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. securities has fallen to 1.5 percentage points from 4.5 percentage points over the same period.

No wonder Anna Schwartz, Milton Friedman’s collaborator on “A Monetary History of the United States,” calls the Bear bailout a “rogue operation” that the Fed had no business conducting. But it’s too late now. The Fed is fueling expectations of more and bigger bailouts. It can’t end well.