It’s the same way for politicians. Give them some cash and they’ll have it spent in no time flat, even if they can’t find anything worth buying.

Take, for example, the infamous Troubled Asset Relief Program, TARP in informal nomenclature. Passing the $700 billion program was a matter of financial and economic life and death according to Washington.

They gave us the same panicky “must-have” arguments as a six-year-old in the toy aisle.

But once they got what they wanted, their “toy” sits unused in the corner. As I write, TARP has over $140 billion in uncommitted funds and $300 billion that has yet to be spent.

Yep, they really need that money, didn’t they?

But the story gets even better. Fully expecting a miraculous recovery by the end of this year, our policymakers set TARP to expire on the final day of the 2009. They figured Obama would certainly prop all 300 million of us on his shoulders and carry us to safety by year’s end.

Now that the economic situation is not nearly as rosy as Obama promised a year ago, Washington is crying once again how badly it needs the money. It’s just how little Johnnie cries and moans when little Janie plays with the toy truck he hasn’t touched in months.

Geithner and his team have hundreds of billions of borrowed money up their sleeves with few viable ways of spending it. But now that we are asking for the money back, they say they need it… at least through next October (definitely not through November elections).

Do we ever grow up? It’s like a bunch of kids playing with very expensive toys in Washington.

*** Have you noticed a lot of Washington’s “economic recovery” programs are up for renewal these days?

TARP, the housing stimulus and all sorts of unemployment benefits have been or will be extended. I’m surprised we haven’t seen the resurgence in Cash for Clunkers.

There’s even a bill that would tax Wall Street to the tune of $150 billion annually to help create new jobs. It’s called, get this, “Let Wall Street Pay for the Restoration of Main Street Act of 2009.”

All these extensions and new programs are a surefire signal that all is not grand in the economic world and Washington had absolutely no idea what it was getting itself into as it spent nearly three trillion dollars to supposedly prop up the nation’s economy.

With Congress continuing its reach into the chest of the domestic economy, its no wonder gold prices are hitting new records day after day. By the time Washington is done, nothing “American” will have any intrinsic value left.

But just as I said yesterday about investing in the dollar’s downturn, be cautious of jumping on the golden bandwagon. It could be trouble.

So far this year, gold’s Street value has increased by 32%. It’s a strong gain when compared to historic moves, and it beat’s the S&P 500’s year-to-date climb of 22%, but how far will the bulls take it before they say enough is enough and the bottom falls out once again.

After all, gold really isn’t worth a lick.

You can’t eat it. It won’t fuel your truck. It won’t give you shelter and it won’t protect your house (unless you’ve got a good arm). When the dung really hits the fan, gold’s only strongpoint is it’s more valuable than a fancy certificate that says you own 1,000 shares of XYZ.

But even then, it’s only valuable because we say it is.

Let’s be flat-out honest with each other here. What are the chances of full-on economic calamity? I mean the kind of situation where you will dig your gold out from beneath the old oak tree and take it to the grocery store to buy a slab of bacon.

In other words, what are the chances you will actually use gold for its “emergency” purpose?

Slim to none, and I’m more pessimistic about this economy than any Roubini-following perma-bear.

Gold’s a trap, especially for the folks buying at today’s prices and actually paying to store the rare metal in some vault.

If you absolutely have to own gold, keep your ownership to a minimum, a few grand worth of coins or so. Nothing more.

Better yet, take advantage of the gold rush of ’09 and invest in the world’s gold miners. They are the ones fleecing the bandwagon riders and creating the ultimate market-beating profit potential.

In this market it is more important than ever to not be a clueless sheep merely following the herd.

Be the shepherd and lead the lambs to slaughter.

*** As options investors we love to lead the pack. That’s why over at TFN Strategic Trader, we are all smiles today. After locking in gains of 400% last week, we sold another set of call options for quick-and-easy gains of 60%.

On Friday I sent out a buy alert. This morning I said sell. Traders that followed my advice locked in three-day gains of 60%. Way better than gold.

In the days following Obama’s inauguration, Washington quickly passed a wide set of tax reforms. Part of the legislation included a $400 tax break for the country’s working class and increased healthcare funding for the country’s poor, unhealthy children thanks to increased taxes on the tobacco industry.

It is no surprise neither measure has worked out as planned.

According to reports today, more than 15 million of us will have to pay back the $400 we saved in taxes over the last few months due to an error on Washington’s end.

I hope Uncle Sam doesn’t expect interest on his loan come April.

The news out of the tobacco industry helps us continue our discussion on regulations. The good and the bad.

Winston Churchill once said, “If you have ten thousand regulations, you destroy all respect for the law.”

The great orator hit the notion perfectly. With Congress working on reform after reform, the American people eventually became deaf to the noise from Washington.

Worse yet, we became savvier at circumnavigating weak legislation. Just ask the tobacco industry.

In an effort to fund children’s healthcare, the Obama administration levied a massive 2,000% tax hike on the nation’s roll-your-own cigarette industry. Taxes for the tobacco used to roll a custom smoke rose from $1.10 per pound to $24.78 per pound.

Washington figured the massive increase would deter smoking and create well-needed revenue care of the folks that refuse to kick the habit.

As you can likely deduce, it didn’t work.

What happened was manufacturers ripped off one label and slapped on other. Roll-your-own tobacco production plunged while pipe tobacco production, with its $2.83 per pound tax, soared.

Before the tax, pipe tobacco demand was just 270,000 pounds per month. Just a few weeks later, it hit 1.7 million pounds.

Turns out Washington had no idea pipe tobacco was so similar to the roll-your-own stuff that it could be considered a direct replacement.

The mistake is now costing the government some $384 million annually in lost tax revenues.

Once again, it proves the markets are always a step or two ahead of new regulations.

Barney Frank may think he can write a law that tells Wall Street to behave, but in reality all he’s doing is pushing the action from one unlit corner to the next.

I can’t wait to see what they come up with next.

The response from the “real world” is almost always ingenious, like a classic Tom and Jerry cartoon.

*** I sure hope the Fed knows what it is doing. With Big Ben stubbornly clinging to record-low overnight rates, the top inflation cop needs another trick to keep market forces at bay while still enticing a skittish economy to come out of its shell.

His latest trick? Paying interest on banking reserves left with the Fed. It is a trick used at other central banks to create a “corridor” that keeps rates from sinking too low or rising too high.

But many pundits don’t think the Fed is ready for such management “tricks”, especially as it sits on a massively inflated balance sheet.

I am one of them.

I am against the measure not because I feel it won’t work. It most certainly will work and has in the past.

I am against it because who in the world wants to give anybody in Washington any more power?

The Fed already owns the banking industry and now it wants to create even more opacity.

Over the last three days, we have seen more than enough examples of how increased government power fails. The more we mess with the markets, the harder they are to control and predict.

For all of you that constantly shout, “Fire the Fed,” here’s a tip of my hat. I’m starting to see the light.

Judging by the sudden rise in fame of Levi Johnson or Balloon Boy’s antics, the human brain is far feebler than we give credit.

And so are the markets.

If you have taken a basic finance class anytime between 1965 and the present, you have likely studied Eugene Fama and his efficient market hypothesis.

Essentially, the University of Chicago professor created a cult-like following of investors and academicians that believe markets entirely reflect all known information and instantly react to new information.

For example:

When I told my ever-optimistic, ever-“hopeful” colleague, Laura Cadden, the news the majority of Obama’s infrastructure stimulus would finally be doled out sometime early next year was already priced into the market, I was showing my belief in efficient markets.

When she gave me a look that curled my toenails, I knew she didn’t believe in such “nonsense.”

The difference between efficient market “believers” and “non-believers” is as strong and divided as the difference between the Left and the Right. In many cases, in fact, the same arguments are involved.

It’s obvious these days that the Left does not believe in Fama’s theory. Why else would it build new regulations and reforms in an effort to limit market freedom?

The Right, on the other hand, with its unending determination to “let the markets handle it,” believe efficient markets will govern and regulate themselves as long as politicians keep their busy hands out of it.

Most of Wall Street tends to follow the Right’s path, realizing the more we know about an investment, the better the decisions we can make.

But it doesn’t matter what you and I think. We aren’t in charge.

Right now, the Left is in charge.

That means free market economics have got to yield to big governments and ever-increasing regulations.

That makes guys like Chris Dodd happy.

Just a few of hours ago, the Senate Banking Committee’s chairmen released an 1,100-page draft bill that takes the very notion of efficient markets and capitalism working hand in hand and tosses it out the window.

Instead of letting a Darwinian-style market separate the strong from the weak, Mr. Dodd wants the government to do the work.

His monstrous bill, which is still nearly 50% shorter than Pelosi’s anti-market healthcare package, finally calls for the “change” so many folks voted for last November.

The Feds power to regulate banks is eradicated. The FDIC role is limited. A new consumer protection agency is created. Executive compensation is in play. Credit-rating agencies will get new guidelines. And of course, the derivatives industry will be re-tooled.

Welcome to the new America, my comrades.

Washington is working to do everything it can to make the markets as inefficient as possible.

It is one more piece of information that proves that human mind is greatly overvalued.

*** Just to prove that efficient markets are still at work and new information can make or break a portfolio, the natural gas industry is reeling today as the International Energy Agency officially warned of a global glut of the vital energy source.

Gas prices are down to their lowest levels in weeks after the agency warned of a strong decline in demand this year and a massive spurt in new production.

As I write, natural gas is trading for $4.483 per MMBtu. Less than a month ago, that figure was just shy of the $6.00 mark.

It’s a downward trend with no end in sight.

Fortunately for TFN Strategic Trader, the news means just one thing, big gains.

I recommended four ways to play the situation recently. Earlier today, all four picks were worth double-digit gains, with one doozy up by 324%.

There’s still time to get in on the action. Read my exclusive report right here.

With the nation’s unemployment rate officially in double-digit territory and the under-employed rate ready to the 20% mark, the politicians that promised bliss in the days ahead are eating their words today.

And that means Wall Street is eating its recent gains.

For nearly a month, the Dow has hovered around the 10,000 mark. After hundreds of billions of dollars were withdrawn earlier this year, it was relatively easy to put that money back to work and send the equities market higher.

But now that the economic data is showing facts of slower-than-expected expansion rather than “ideas” of growth, investors are forced to explain their logic. The Dow doesn’t want to budge from 10k.

So far, I’ve heard very few reasons for prices to go any higher. Maybe in China or Australia, but certainly not here in the land where everything is changing.

Think about what has occurred over the past twelve months and tell me if you believe today’s companies are worth as much as they were two years ago or even five years ago.

We’ve had government takeovers of major banks, mortgage lenders, auto manufacturers and insurers. Washington has told people how much they can make in a year. Legislators even introduced retroactive taxes.

Then there is the threat of cap and trade blowing energy prices (an input to nearly every American business) sky high. Now it is mandatory healthcare and the risk to corporate payrolls, tax structures and discretionary spending.

After all that, I hate to think about what is next. An assault on allergens?

*** Maybe I’m just being too pessimistic. After all it has been a long week and I spent five hours at the airport in the middle of the night yesterday waiting to pick up my mother-in-law.

Don’t get me wrong. I think there are some fantastic buying opportunities out there. There are just not in the places most Americans are looking.

But since the mother-in-law brought me eighty pounds of fresh Alaskan salmon, halibut and moose meat (she’s as close to Sarah Palin as you can get without committing to Playgirl), I am starting to feel a bit generous today.

That means I’m going to share with you what I am certain will be the biggest gainers of the next twelve months.

First… healthcare. Think about it. Who is easier to rip off than the federal government?

Just ask Haliburton, Goldman Sachs and whoever sold those $750 toilet seats.

Within a year of signing some diluted version of Pelosi-care, the headlines are going to be filled with record-breaking profits out of the nation’s largest healthcare providers and drug companies.

If Wall Street has the nerve to toss out billions in bonuses while the ink on their bailout checks is still drying, imagine the kind of zeroes that will be added to the paychecks of healthcare executives.

I can hear the excuses now. “If we want to save lives, we have to retain the best workers.”

It is going to be a feeding frenzy when Uncle Sam is the third-party payer.

Next, forget about gold.

One reader wrote to me yesterday and said, “I think it will hit $2,000, but it will probably hit $600 first.”

Could not have said it better myself. Gold’s value is too tied up with political moves and currency fluctuations. With one well-timed press release, China can send the price wherever the heck it wants.

I don’t want my wealth facing that kind of risk, especially after we just rammed Beijing with the largest tariffs yet.

That’s why my money is on palladium. It’s much harder to find and has a huge industrial demand.

Palladium is at the heart of the world’s commodity carry trade. I told TFN Strategic Traders to play Stillwater Mining several months ago and the trade nearly doubled in a week. It is still a good buy, especially as China’s auto industry takes shape.

Finally, go short on natural gas. Get as much leverage as you can because prices are about to plummet fast.

On Wednesday, the International Energy Agency was one of the first major groups to back my opinion. In a draft of a report due out next week, the influential group warned of a massive glut of natural gas as global demand begins to top off and turn around just as we are pulling more of the stuff out of the ground than ever.

But don’t wait until Tuesday to read the report. You can read my version right now. In it, I recommend three ways to play the situation.

So far, two of the plays would have already doubled your money. All three are well into positive territory. Prices are almost out of my buying range, so do not hesitate to take action.

*** Before I go for the week, I need to make a correction. Yesterday, I inadvertently said the Senate extended unemployment benefits for 14 months. The actual extension is 14 weeks.

I apologize for accidentally releasing my psychic secrets. The 14-month extension won’t come until next spring, when Congress finally makes it illegal to layoff any employee.

Enjoy a great autumn weekend,
Andrew Snyder

The “next big thing” our friends at The Daily Reckoning recently predicted, “will be downsizing, cutting back, making do. Barely on the radar screen now, thrift is coming into focus more clearly day by day. So far, people are a bit embarrassed about it…a bit ashamed that they have had to cut back. But soon, it will be popular…fashionable…and, finally, almost obligatory.”

This new austerity craze — if/as/when it arrives — will impose hardships on many American companies. But a select few might actually benefit.

The cause(s) of downsizing are pretty clear. Home values are falling so sharply that very few homeowners can still pull equity out of their houses. Stock prices are also drifting lower, more or less. Meanwhile, inflation is ramping up.

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Prices are rising in Europe as in America. Bread is up 12 percent in Germany over the last 12 months. Butter has gone up 45 percent. Milk, 25 percent.

Higher prices often stem from printing more dollars. “Force-feeding the rest of the world $2 billion per day (more consumption),” Warren Buffett reminded us last week, “is inconsistent with a stable dollar (more inflation).”

We share Mr. Buffett’s concern. Bernanke keeps printing. Politicians keep promising. Bridges keep crumbling. Wars keep spending.

With regret, we read last week that the projected total cost of medical care for U.S. veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars will top $500 billion, a figure on par with the total military spending to wage these wars to date. And speaking of military might, Defense Secretary Robert Gates estimated in testimony before the Senate Armed Services Committee that the Pentagon will spend upward of $685 billion next year alone. That’s $170 billion more than the $515 billion the president proposed in his first-ever $3 trillion budget.

If that weren’t enough, Gates doesn’t even expect that number to stick. “I have no confidence in that figure,” he admitted. You can expect the estimate to rise in the near future.

A hundred billion here…a hundred billion there. Who’s counting?

Apparently, no one.

But that’s not to say the S&P can’t weather the storm. The companies representing the Standard & Poor’s 500 index now derive 49 percent of revenue from foreign markets, up from 30 percent in 2001. Meaning, those with money to burn (Southeast Asian consumers) should keep earnings reports strong. Stronger repatriated currencies should only bolster this trend.

Unfortunately, many Americans believe a strong S&P equals a strong American economy. We tend to see another American economy. We see an economy riddled with debt, more debt and even more debt. We see the American consumer eerily close to tapping out. Thirty-four percent of Americans now believe they are among the “have-nots.”

It serves to reason. More than 405,000 homeowners lost their homes to foreclosure last year.

Most middle-income Americans, the ones driving our buy-now, pay-later economy, have spent well beyond their means. Americans currently perpetuate a negative savings rate. That can’t last forever.

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Cheap oil and cheap credit have fueled this era of consumption…this gilded age of instant gratification.