Baltimore (TFN): The Fed is meeting today. And I ask who cares? At this point, Bernanke and his troupe of politicians masquerading as economists are in so far over their heads, no matter what they do or say, you can bet the move is designed to protect their butts, not yours.

With the global economy taking off without us and foreign interest rates already on the rise, the Fed is desperate to look bullish while acting bearish.

Anybody that has ever tried to prove the existence of Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy to a six year old knows what Bernanke is trying to do. At this point, he’ll do anything to change the subject and focus the attention on something else.

With all of this talk about an increasingly deadly carry trade bubble, it is beyond obvious that American interest rates need to rise. If it doesn’t happen, soon enough all of America’s money will be invested in some high rise in China’s Guandong province… or Saudi oil.

But we all know Bernanke would commit career suicide by lifting a headliner like short-term rates even by a quarter of a percent. The blame for any upcoming financial downturn will be squarely on his shoulders.

For the youngsters in the room, he’ll be blamed for outing Santa Clause.

So what’s the guy to do? He’s already doing it.

The Fed is unraveling its plans to buy a whopping $1.25 trillion worth of mortgage-backed securities and $200 billion worth of other mortgage-related notes.

By March, the Fed’s massive buying spree will be over, once again letting the markets deal with a massive amount of very “un-transparent” securities. The same lion that brought the bull down is once again about to be un-caged, hungrier than ever.

If you thought the market had a hard time swallowing so many mortgage defaults, wait until $1.45 trillion dollars runs straight into 10% unemployment and a real estate market worth a fraction of what it was even a year ago.

And here’s the kicker, just by refraining from hitting the “buy” button, Bernanke effectively raises mortgage rates by as much as 100 basis points.

Let’s see… 10% unemployment, a weakened currency, deflating home prices and inflating borrowing costs. It’s a recipe for disaster.

At least Bernanke gets to keep his job and he gets the keen realization that he would not be in this bind if he never would have meddled with the markets in the first place.

We all knew the day would come when the Fed had to clean up its mess. That day has come.

***As if the markets have not shown enough contempt for government intervention, Uncle Sam is once again trying to throw sand into the gears and cogs of American business.

This time they want us to pay workers for not showing up to the job.

Thanks to a representative from California (there’s a surprise), legislation is working its way through Capitol Hill that would force employers to pay an employee for up to five days worth of sick leave if the worker is diagnosed with ANY infectious disease.

The rational side of my brain says there is absolutely no way this is going to make it the White House. The harm it would do to production is simply too immense to deny, even by politicians.

But the irrational side of me can already imagine the last-minute phone calls. “Sorry boss. I can’t flip burgers today. Got herpes. See you on Friday to get paid.”

Gotta love where we are headed.